I set holiday tables like I mean for people to stay. Real napkins—even if they are not linen, they must not be paper unless we are eating crab. Candles low enough to see faces. Salt and pepper filled before anyone asks.
I mix chairs so nobody feels relegated to the kids table unless they want to be there—some of us prefer it, honestly. A centerpiece that does not block conversation. Last year I used pine and oranges. Smelled like hope.
Place cards for groups over eight. Always. I write a note on the back of each: grateful you came. People cry into their rolls. I consider that success.
The goal is not Pinterest. The goal is your aunt saying she felt held. Design for that.